Beating the Heat
by Dance Elle Dance
Summary: A broken air conditioner and the stifling summer heat cause Darcy to resort to desperate measures to stay cool - a trip to the public pool is in order and her Trickster boyfriend is along for the ride. LokiDarcy, twoshot
1. Part I

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Thor._

_**Summary: A broken air conditioner and the stifling summer heat cause Darcy to resort to desperate measures to stay cool - a trip to the public pool is in order and her Trickster boyfriend is along for the ride. LokiDarcy, twoshot**_

_And, another Thor fic. This one is a twoshot, though (a rarity for me)! And very crack-y. Oh, my gosh, it's crack-y. And AU. I don't think I'll ever get tired of writing for this fandom, for real. And I'm taking a bit of liberty with Loki's abilities in this just because. Artistic license and the crackfic, I suppose, and it was fun to twist things. Haha. Anyway, I just thought this was a cute idea and I hope that y'all enjoy this fic! I would love to hear your opinions and everything! Thanks so much for reading!_

* * *

**Beating the Heat  
****Part I**

* * *

The sun shone through the curtains, bathing Darcy Lewis in the frantic morning light.

Her apartment, of course, faced the wrong way. Well, at least her bedroom window did, casting the sunlight in her direction every morning if she didn't close the curtains the right way, or if she managed to not put the blinds a certain way. Or, really, if she just looked at the window wrong, she was likely to burn out her corneas.

She digressed.

Darcy groaned and rolled over, pressing her palms into her eyes and wishing that her apartment wasn't in such an unfortunate position. The sun also heated up the room a great deal, causing her to kick the covers and growl in annoyance. That damned ceiling fan of hers wasn't working, and the air conditioner happened to go on the fritz last night. _And _it seemed that summer chose this very day to rear its stupid, too-hot face. She stuck her toes out from under the sheets in a desperate attempt to salvage some kind of comfortable coolness. In that same moment, she stuck her arm underneath the pillow, wondering if the cool side of the pillow was, in fact, still cool.

And at that moment, her arm brushed against someone else's. Someone who, apparently, had the same idea. That very someone that robbed the coolness from underneath the pillow, causing it to be just as hot as the rest of the place.

She grabbed the thin wrist in her fingers and stared at him. He was blissfully asleep. Or, well, that was what anyone _else_ would have thought. She could make out the faintest upturn of his lips in that familiar smile of his. Darcy knew if he was awake, his eyes would be glinting mischievously.

"Oh, _honey_…" she cooed, an edge to her voice.

He didn't stir.

"Loki," she crooned in a sing-song manner, "my dear little mischief-maker. Wake _u-up_."

His nose twitched.

Darcy smirked.

"Go ahead and laugh," he started, eyes still closed. "You know I cannot _stand_ it when you use those terms of endearment towards me."

Her smirk turned into a full-blown grin.

"What do you want?"

"You stole the cool side of the pillow from me."

This caused him to open his eyes and stare at her. The crisp green of them always took her off guard, and this morning, no matter how hot, wasn't an exception. She stared right back at him, trying to seem unaffected, and offered him a snide smile.

"I believe that is impossible to actually _steal_," he replied calmly.

"No it isn't," Darcy argued, "because you did it. Just now. Like yeah."

"Convincing argument."

"I know," she said, tilting her head slightly in an imitation of his usual regal stance.

Loki moved his arm out from underneath the pillow, finding that Darcy's fingers were still in a bracelet around his wrist. He stared at the slender fingers and sighed. "What is this?"

"Just getting your attention."

"Any excuse to get your hands on me, I suppose."

Darcy grinned, knowing that he was half-right. As he was most of the time. She wasn't even shameful in admitting it. The pulse under her fingers was steady, strong, and she relished feeling that. He quirked a brow at her in that eloquent way that only he could and pressed his fingers to the ones locked around his wrist.

"What?"

"Do something about it."

"About what?"

Darcy expanded her free arm as if she was displaying the room for a potential buyer. "This."

Both eyebrows lifted this time in an incredulous expression.

"_What_?"

"The…the _heat_ problem." She glared at him, her eyes flickering with something akin to pleading. "Or the lack-of-a-cool-side-of-a-pillow problem."

Loki scoffed. "How do you expect me to do that, then?"

A pause.

"Pull a David Blaine on this place."

Loki laughed, albeit a bit confusedly. He had yet to master all of the famous magicians that she taunted him with. "Well, I could always freeze the pillow completely solid. There would be no limitations of a 'cool side' there."

"Nice. But I like my pillow."

"Really? It's rather lumpy."

"Buy a new one for yourself, then."

Loki smiled, clearly liking that he got a rise out of her. He sat up, and in doing so freed himself from her grasp. The heat didn't seem to be getting to him, which made Darcy slightly jealous, and she sighed. Taking in his appearance, she felt slightly better that he wasn't as immune to bedhead as he was to the heat. Snickering, she reached out and pressed down the flyaway strands of his hair. He only looked slightly uncomfortable as she did so, so that was a plus.

"You just need to work on your endurance, is all."

"_Endurance_? I've spent months with _Jane Foster_ running around the desert chasing lightning or whatever like we were the freakin' Storm Chasers. I have loads of endurance."

"Maybe _tolerance _would be a more appropriate word, then."

"Maybe," she acquiesced. "But you still need to fix it."

"Aren't you capable?" he asked, a knowing smile on his lips.

"No." The time in which she tried to fix the ceiling fan came to mind. She'd ended up pulling on the strings too hard and the whole thing came crashing down on her bed, plaster and all kinds of mess everywhere. Loki had been the one to position the fan back on the ceiling, but it hadn't worked since. And he was _teasing _her about it.

Loki leaned back against her bed frame, crossing his arms over his chest. "Ah, yes. I remember several incidents of your attempted cunning."

"Yes," she said, "so help a sistah out."

"It would be rather disturbing if you were my sister. Why would you say such a thing?"

Caught off guard, Darcy burst into laughter. It took her a while to gather herself, and then she looked at Loki, who had no idea what the problem was. _Just smile and nod,_ someone had told him before, _just smile and nod. _This seemed to be one of those situations, but he was unable to decrease the clueless look in his eyes.

"Aren't you able to do something?"

Loki pursed his lips for a moment and then said, "I could set fire to that chair over there. And, according to your explanation of why that was inappropriate during the winter, those 'sprinkler' things will go off and soak the place." He looked at her and then amended, as if she needed special explanation as to where he was going with this, "Water is cold."

"Yeah, but then my whole place would be soaked!"

"But you would be cold. Is that not what you desired?"

"There are a lot of things I _desire_," she said, imitating his voice almost pitch-perfectly on that last word, "but living in _Waterworld _is not one of them."

"Yes, but you wanted cold, not dry."

"Dry would be preferable, Loki."

"But preferable is boring," he drawled, lifting a hand and examining it.

"Yeah, yeah, because you're the god of mischief, I know," she said, smacking his hand and burying her face in the pillow at the same time, "but I don't want too much mischief. Not now. I'm in the late symptoms of heat stroke."

Was it always so unbearably hot in her apartment? It seemed ridiculous. She really needed to get someone to fix it. If it wasn't her Houdini of a boyfriend, it could be Thor. Or she'd call the repair guy assigned to the apartment complex she lived in. And he was creepy as all get out. Calling him was like calling a stalker.

If only there was something she could do…

And then it hit her.

Darcy's head shot up and almost knocked against Loki's, who had been leaning down to whisper something in her ear. "The pool! Let's go to the pool!"

"Pool?" Loki blinked.

"The apartment complex's pool. It's right around the corner. The gated thing. Yeah. That should help. Going swimming." She sighed dreamily at the thought of it.

"But how does that solve the problem here?"

Darcy let out a breath. "It doesn't."

Loki quirked a brow.

"But it's fun!" she said, sitting up and throwing the covers off of her legs. She started toward the kitchen. "And we could use some fun."

Loki started to laugh as he followed her.

"Not that much fun," Darcy said, turning to face him. He immediately put on an innocent look. "I won't like it if you decide to turn the pool water purple or something."

"I was thinking more…red. Actually."

"Okay, Elizabeth Bathory."

Silence followed. She really needed to get him a dictionary of everything that was culturally important.

"What are you doing?"

"Going to make breakfast."

A sharp chuckling met her ears. "By that you mean, _I'll_ make breakfast while _you _watch."

Darcy felt her cheeks flush. But he wasn't wrong. She arranged her features into a shit-eating grin and said, "If you insist."

"I'll cook you breakfast," he said, watching her as she walked back to her bedroom, no doubt to get prepared for whatever hell she had in store for them in their trip to the pool, "but I get free reign at the pool."

"Free reign," Darcy called, scoffing as if he said something particularly amusing. "You get free reign if you fix the heat problem in the apartment."

"You are talking in circles, Lewis."

"But you said you could freeze my pillow - that you could set things on fire…what…"

"I lied."

"Evil," she gasped melodramatically, far too used to his tales. "_Evil_."

Loki just smiled as he began getting things together for their breakfast. "I try."

"Try less." He heard the bathroom door close behind her.

"Since I'm evil, can I manipulate the pool water to be whatever I choose?" he called, knowing her answer.

"No!" she cried back, though he could hear the weariness to her voice that suggested something different.

He smiled to himself. "I believe you want to witness it."

A pause.

"_Fine_," she relented. "But if we get caught, I don't know you."

* * *

_**End Part I.**_


	2. Part II

_**Disclaimer: **__I don't own Thor._

_So, I'm tired. Today has been a day - school and everything - and yet I just couldn't __**not **__finish this. I suppose it was a matter of stress relief or something, but I'm glad that I finished it before my summer classes really heat up (pun totally intended). However, despite that, I am very happy at the responses for this fic! It means so much that people enjoyed the first half, so here is the second half! This fic - as well as LokiDarcy in general - are just so much fun to write. Please enjoy! And thanks for reading! (And Lok is pronounced Lohk. It's not a typo, lol.)  
_

* * *

**Beating the Heat  
Part II**

* * *

"Ow! Ow, ow, _ow_!"

"I told you to wear shoes."

Darcy looked up and glared at her boyfriend-slash-annoyance. It was funny how those two terms were almost always comorbid with each other. She wrinkled her nose a bit and protested, "It's - ow - not that far - ow - of a way - ow, ow, _damn it_ - to the pool."

"Far enough that you're burning your feet to get there," Loki replied with an air of superiority.

"Shut up."

Darcy had dressed herself in a swimsuit, as well as a cover-up to go over it on the way to the pool. It was rather big, and the straps were falling down her shoulders every time she would even think of slouching. She had a large beach bag with her, filled with random pool items. A huge floppy hat was perched on her head, the expansive brim almost obscuring her face. Shades were perched on her nose.

And Loki…well, he was Loki.

The trunks he wore were green, of course, and yet he opted for some kind of button-up shirt to wear to the pool. The thing was actually buttoned, unlike the bare-chested males who wore button-up shirts just to tease women and show off their abs. He wore a pair of flip-flops, and that sight was humorous in and of itself. Darcy was so incredibly tempted to take a picture of the sight and tweet it to Jane.

"That hat is ridiculous, by the way."

Darcy gasped in faux-insult, grasping the hat as if it were injured by Loki's comment. "It is not! It's very…Waldorf."

Loki blinked. "I am not sure what that means."

"You poor, sheltered, little magician."

Loki flinched away as she patted his head. "I am not your pet, Darcy."

She grinned in response, loving that she could make him feel so uncomfortable. Darcy believed for a moment that she might be a bit of a sadist, except not creepy like those killers on television. She withdrew her hand from its current entanglement in his hair and continued walking.

"_Ow_!"

Loki snickered.

"Don't you laugh at me, or I'll put your feet on Twitter."

He stared at her blankly.

Darcy sighed. She really _should_ get him that encyclopedia of everything culturally important. Or at least make him tune into the E! channel every now and then.

"I will never get you Midgardians," he said, running a hand along his hair. She grinned and then winced as she was reminded scorching hot concrete's relationship with her bare feet. She opted to walk on the balls of her feet, yet that was hardly a helpful action.

Loki snickered, and Darcy muttered, "Sadist."

He didn't comment, not hiding his smile. The pavilion that the pool was by was in sight. Darcy could barely contain her excitement. She jumped and pointed and Loki slapped a hand over his face in embarrassment.

"You live here. _Certainly _you've seen the pool before."

Darcy scowled at him, an odd looking expression when on her features. "Have a little childlike enthusiasm, Lok."

"Lok?" he asked, cringing at her apparent new nickname for him.

A grin spread across her face, removing the scowl from her face completely. "Hee, Lok Ness Monster."

Again, another reference lost on the Asgardian.

"I'll show you what that is later, of course."

"I'm filled with anticipation," he replied, his voice lingering on the syllables on that last word in such a manner that it caused chills to travel down Darcy's spine. She was sure that he could read the phone book and it would give her giddy, girlish goosebumps.

"You should be," she managed to croak out. "Everything I do is _epic_."

Loki rolled his eyes as they approached the pavilion. Darcy stepped forward and used her keycard to open the gate to the pool. She looked ahead of her, seeing the familiar blue water and the kids playing around the pool. The diving board, the slide, the floaty toys. It all sent a rush of glee through her.

"Tell me you're not excited," she dared, nudging him in the shoulder with her fist.

Loki turned his head toward her, his eyes wry and yet serious at the same time. "I'm not excited."

"The Lok Ness Monster should be delighted to be faced with such a large body of water," Darcy said, indignant.

Sighing in slight exasperation, Loki moved forward to claim one of the poolside chairs. Darcy followed him, sitting her bag of pool things on the chair. She looked over at him, and he was staring intently out at the water. There was a mischievous glint to his eyes, one that told her that things were about to get rather interesting.

_And, _Darcy thought slyly, _he looks so gorgeous when he has that look in his eyes._

She removed her hat and placed it on the fold-out chair with the greatest of reference. Loki stared at her as if she were possessed. She then removed her cover-up and stepped forward, towards the edge of the pool. She stuck a finger in her mouth and then held it out, testing the wind.

"What in the name of Odin does that have to do with swimming?" Loki asked, almost visibly twitching.

"Hush up, Asgardian. Thou knoweth not of shit Midgardians do."

"I have seen no one on Midgard do that before swimming."

"There's a first for everything, my dear," she replied, a grin sweeping across her face before she jumped in. Just like Darcy, he supposed, leaping headfirst into anything despite the fact that -

"Holy _shit_, this is cold!"

Loki smirked; she finished his thought for him, after all.

Darcy looked up at him through the mass of wet hair that had clouded her vision. She swam to the edge of the pool and smoothed the hair out of her face. She glanced up at him, using the most pitiful look she could muster, and held out her hand. "Help me out?"

Loki twitched his mouth to the side, as if fighting off laughter, and then stepped forward with his hand outstretched. As soon as Darcy had a hold of it, a menacing grin fell over her features, and with a yank, pulled Loki into the pool as well.

A startled gasp emitted from Loki's mouth before he was submerged in the cold, cold water, which was both comforting as well as a salve to the sweltering weather. He swam to the surface, his head breaking through the water, and then glared at the human who had tricked the Trickster.

"I'll have you know, I rather liked this shirt." He started unbuttoning it and shucked the mass of wet fabric from his form, tossing it over to the folding chair that housed their things. Darcy let out a gasp as it hit her floppy hat, followed by the flip-flops that had gotten caught in the fray.

"And I rather liked that hat!"

"Quit being so melodramatic."

"You first!" She splashed him with water.

Loki caught a mouthful of water and started to cough, choking on the chlorinated substance and wishing that it didn't get in his eyes. They felt like they were going to burn right out of his skull. He pressed a hand against his dripping forehead and tried to glare at Darcy through the burning sensation. "Not funny."

It was at that moment, a group of children splashed by the two of them, kicking up more water that, of course, got in Loki's eyes. Darcy started to laugh harder, her face turning an interesting mixture of red and purple.

Loki spluttered in a rather undignified way before pressing his fingers to his eyes.

And then, just like that, the water turned purple.

Gasps were heard throughout the space. Children screamed in both delight and horror, while the adults were baffled. Some took out their phones to capture it all, unbeknownst to its true source, or the reason for the change.

Darcy glared at Loki for a moment before looking down at the clear purple liquid that had replaced the pool water. She looked up at him again, then back down, then back up again. The other pool goers' reactions were not as subtle.

"Does it taste like grape?" a child screamed, opening his mouth wide to scoop up as much as he could.

"No! No, stop it, Jimmy!" the mother shrieked in horror, plucking her curious child from the water.

"Dude, I saw this before. The water fountain on campus, dude, they put grape Koolaid in it. And then bubbles!" a shockingly red haired youth with a sunburn to match observed.

"_Rad_," his friend, equally as fried and loopy, chimed in.

Not liking that his plan wasn't original, Loki changed the water to yellow.

"Dude! What have I told you, dude, about peeing in the pool. Dude!"

And then to green.

"Ohmaga!" a blonde woman squealed, leaping away as if the water could burn the paint off her toenails.

Red.

Brown.

Black.

Pink.

Each time Loki decided to change the water's color, he was met with gasps of shock and people scurrying out of the pool and out of the vicinity. Soon, nothing was left except the rapidly color-shifting pool and the mischievous duo. Even the lifeguard on duty left, saying, "Screw what they're paying me! I knew this apartment complex was haunted!"

And with a squeak, the gate closed behind the last person.

The water settled on blue again, and Loki set the lock in place on the door, disabling it so no one else could get in.

"You scared everyone off, Loki," Darcy voiced floating on her back. "You really are the Lok Ness Monster."

Loki smirked. "Are you telling me you don't like having the pool to yourself?"

She blinked a few times, the words sinking in. "You…what? Did that…for my benefit?"

He shrugged in response. "Why else would I do that?"

"You love being a troublemaker!"

Loki looked at her, his eyes full of mirth, teasing and playful and _perfect_. "You underestimate me." He moved a piece of wet hair out of her face. "Now, enjoy this gift."

"I think I will," she said, and leaned back in the cool water, enjoying the feel of the sun on her face just as his lips pressed gently on the crown of her forehead.

* * *

"Ow! Ow, ow, _ow_!"

"I told you to wear sunscreen."

"Shut up, Loki."

"…"

"Loki?"

"…yes?"

"Can you get me a glass of lemonade?"

A smile.

"Of course, Darcy."

* * *

_**End Part II.**_

_**End Beating the Heat.**_


End file.
